Weekly Weigh In

Okay, I did my weigh in this morning. I had decided on Sunday that if I still hadn't lost weight that I would take Weight Watchers advice and switch for a week or two to the Core Plan as opposed to the Flex Plan. I lost 1.5 pounds this week. I'm not sure how I did it though. I ate a lot more fruit and vegetables. I also used nearly all my weekly points. I also only worked out twice this week. So I really don't know who I wound up losing weight. I'm happy I did I'm just trying to figure out how I did. Any thoughts or ideas, let me know. My best thought is I didn't eat enough the week before last. If you have any suggestions or ideas leave me a comment.

Tuesday's Workout

Well, I worked out this morning. I hurt. My left shoulder and right knee are both sore. And I am tired. I should sleep really well tonight. I probably won't do my strength training tomorrow. My muscles need a day to rest. I will do some cardio work tomorrow.

I had a healthy breakfast of oatmeal and yogurt. Lunch was a weight watchers frozen dinner. Dinner will be meatloaf and lots of healthy veggies.

I've had 2 bottles of water and 2 glasses of Crystal Light. And I keep having to go to the restroom. Guess the water is working. I feel pretty good though considering how tired I am. I just wanted to update on that.

Oh and I didn't lose any weight this past week. But I did take my measurements and found that I have lost some inches in nearly my whole body. Pretty cool, huh?

Rough Weekend

So, this weekend was a little rough. It seems that the harder I make work my body, the rougher the down days. I had a lot of painful thoughts going through my head this weekend. Some I shared with Music Man. Some I kept to myself. Not because I couldn't share them with him, more because I was tired of sounding so sad and like I was hurting all time. I honestly felt at times like I did nothing but complain and tell these horrible stories of awful things that have happened to me. The worst part is he knows most of them.

Dr. Laura says that when you're depressed you should "behave as if you're not". Easier said than done, I know but she's right. Actions are not feelings. If you behave as though that's how you feel then eventually that is how you feel. That doesn't mean you should run from your feelings either. You have to let yourself feel them in order to work through them. However when you're with other people, don't let your feelings control your actions.

So, I'm going to work through controlling my actions and not letting my feelings control them. I plan to think before I speak. Okay I plan to try. At least for today. We'll see how it goes from there.

Pain and Working Out

I was working out this morning and when I finished with my workout and was cooling down before my shower, this thought popped in my head. I stop working out periodically because it hurts. I know that sounds kind of like a duh! moment but there's more to it. When it hurts I begin to feel alive. And when I feel alive, emotionally I hurt. I start to remember all these painful events in my life. After a while it starts to hurt so much that numb is a welcome relief.

My mother told me a story from when she was in her early 20's. Her brother had been in a motorcycle accident and had recently died. She had been feeling sorry for herself, which was understandable, but not very helpful. She had asked the question why was this happening to her. Now, understand she and her brother were very close and she was hurting a lot. Mom's grandmother, well she got annoyed with Mom feeling so sorry for herself. She looked at my mom and said, "Why not you?" My mom was stunned. How could her grandmother, who she adored, be so cruel in her moment of agony. Gram went on to explain.

"No one gets out of life without hurting. If you're in pain, then you're alive. And that's better than the alternative."

I know she didn't say anything about the good times, or times when she was happy. She didn't comfort my mom, she didn't reassure her, she just insisted my mom look at reality. My mom should be grateful for the pain cause it meant she wasn't dead. Pain was a gift. It hurt but it was better to live with the pain than to be numb and dead inside.

I've been numb inside for 15 years. Gram was right. Pain is hard but it's better than numb.

Time to workout more and feel more alive. It may hurt for a while but if I keep it up eventually all the pains and injuries will subside. And alive will be full of joy and happiness.

Thank you Gram. Thank you God.

30 day shred

Okay, I haven't updated. I've been sick and injured. I haven't been able to workout in a couple of weeks. I changed that this morning. I'll get to today's workout in a minute.

First, it really sucks to look so forward to spring just to be hit by allergies. I have been so congested for about a month that I'd think I'm losing all sense of smell except I can still taste food. And anyone who has studied the human body knows you have to have a sense of smell in order to taste. So, let's just say my sense of taste is impaired.

Second, never harass your daughter and put your hand behind her back. In the middle of your horse play there is a good chance she will sit back and your wrist will bend the wrong way. (Not your fault Miss Goofy, I take all the blame!) In any event that was on her birthday, which was about a week ago. This is the first morning I didn't care how bad it hurt I was going to workout anyway. Thank God for Aleve. I will be using it today. Probably more than I should.

Third, Music Man bought Jillian Michaels' new DVD, 30 Day Shred, for me. For some reason I was stupid enough to ask for it. Now, I know she didn't do the video specifically for me, but I do have to say, "I think that bitch is trying to kill me."

Okay that wasn't fair or nice, but it is a tough workout. It's only 20 minutes. But I put more into that 20 minutes than I usually do in an hour workout. Wow, are my muscles burning. I feel really good though. Course, I'll probably pass out around 9 but, I'll feel good until then.

As for my challenge to myself. The first week I gained a pound. It was Easter weekend though so I feel like one pound wasn't too bad. Last week I lost that pound. So, I'm back to where I started. Not where I would have liked but, at least I'm not further behind.

So, I have 20 pounds left to lose by my birthday. I have just over 4 weeks. I'm going to have to really watch what I eat, (count those points) and make sure I exercise everyday. I can at least get out and walk. In fact, I think I'll try and do that this afternoon. Assuming it doesn't rain like it's threatening to do. And I need to go grocery shopping this morning. I am going to try really hard to just buy healthy stuff. Although I was really good and kept track of the Easter candy I ate. I do need to have an idea of what to buy though, so I'm going to end this and go look at recipes. I should have done that yesterday, but I was swollen in the sinuses and not much got done.

Have a great day and I'll try to keep updating.